I headed to a coffee shop near my house to read a book for a brief moment. I could have read it at home, but part of me wished to walk outside wearing the sunglasses I purchased recently, and sitting at home had grown somewhat tedious. It felt as though multiple clattering pebbles were residing within my heart. I could have reached in to pull those stones out of my mind, prepared to get sand on my hands one by one, but leaving those emotions covered up, I went out to read.
Sitting in a quiet café, I looked over the book. It was a text regarding branding. Yet, branding failed to catch my eye. Instead, a specific phrase within the contents captured my attention: "You cannot counterfeit sincerity." That single line of text fell upon my heart with a heavy thud, like a massive block of iron. You cannot counterfeit sincerity. It was a correct statement. I possessed absolutely no knacks for counterfeiting my own sincerity.
Why was I incapable of deceiving my own sincerity? Reflecting upon the service I have been agonizing over and constructing for the past several months, I realized I had failed to pour my entire sincerity into it. Hence, no true sincerity was contained within. Though my words declared a desire to forge the absolute greatest masterpiece of my life, in truth, I was not engaging in the task with the level of sincerity I possessed during my greenhorn days, when I knew absolutely nothing. What was the reason? The multiple pebbles lingering within my heart were obstructing me from pouring love into this place with all my sincerity.
Before I even realized it, multiple fears had taken root within me. What if I fail yet again? What will happen if all the invested time, money, energy, and youth vanish once more? Through this particular failure, just how far down will I descend?
In truth, because absolutely everything remained undecided, the fear could have been a mere illusion. However, recalling the past failure of AirDesk, it could conversely be a rational fear birthed precisely because experience had accumulated. Conducting tasks while convincing myself of everything was no easy feat. A ten-year journey of entrepreneurship gifted me with insight, but that insight applied identically to myself as well. The insight, analytical power, and the eye for spotting weaknesses were directed precisely at my own product; and if I viewed the product through those razor-sharp eyes, I had no choice but to behold the myriad flaws, insufficiencies, and the colossal losses I would endure should things go awry.
It was of an entirely different dimension compared to executing something merely for amusement. For this was not amusement, but a challenge. Therefore, I was hesitating. I was seeking a method to construct a brand that could convince myself, the strategies of senior entrepreneurs who walked before me, design exceptionalism, or perhaps a marketing strategy capable of transcending all of the above. In other words, before confronting the terrifying reality I was observing, I desired to arm myself with a sword and armor that would set my mind at ease when engaging the enemy. I did not wish to repeat the blunders of my foolish youth, when I marched into the battlefield entirely oblivious. Ultimately, within my sincerity, a dream and a vision existed; yet simultaneously, the coldness of enterprise and the terror and fear emerging from it coexisted as well.
A person colored by terror cannot move. It is akin to freezing in place upon encountering a ghost, rather than fleeing. I believe I was halted in place by terror. It is ironic. I distinctly believed I would become a stronger individual, yet as I became capable of observing far more, I had no choice but to react with extreme sensitivity to a greater number of threats.
In the end, I could conceal neither the reality I confronted nor the genuine sincerity I possessed—absolutely nothing could be hidden. Even if I were to deceive myself to construct a product in this state, it would inevitably mirror the past identically. Because every product ultimately encapsulates sincerity. Whether it is a product forged merely to sell moderately and reap capital, or whether it emerged from agonizing over a slightly superior product—the customer may not comprehend every detail, but they can sense it nonverbally. An exceptionally minute distinction. Due to that very difference, certain products receive love for a long duration, while other products remain common, easily replaceable entities.
Because I could not conceal my true self, it seems I surrendered the very notion of hiding. Rather, I have consistently engaged in the experience of dragging out raw thoughts to confront uncomfortable truths. Regarding myself, and regarding others. While that did not invariably yield beneficial outcomes for relationships, at the very least, I managed to learn a fraction of how to live while exposing my genuine facets.
However, because living in this manner is akin to existing without a single layer of shell to cover oneself, it seems to have rendered my inner surface coarse and distinct—much like how one's feet grow calloused if they walk about consistently without shoes. A life devoid of a shell. A life that refuses to hide within a protective casing. To sustain that, I had no choice but to grow coarser, and I had to evaluate myself with far greater severity. I evaluate myself just as I evaluate others. As a consequence, my deficiencies were invariably stationed vividly before my eyes.
Regardless of my shortcomings, once I remembered the truth that one cannot counterfeit sincerity, every single problem conversely grew distinct. The product I am forging, the scenario I endure, and the minor events unfolding in my scarce surroundings. And the conclusion obtained as a result was a singular one:
"Let us encapsulate sincerity within a single task."
Never engage in more than two tasks simultaneously; let us pour our entire sincerity into one. Let us not deceive ourselves. For the customer will not be deceived either. Though sincerity may be unpolished and occasionally uncomfortable, if the core of my sincerity remains warm, then when someone remembers me someday, there will surely be those who recollect, thinking, "He was truly a warm soul."